Fresh out the Fryin Pan into the Fire

So i'm back... i've been back actually... just that, well, it's as if i'm a paratrooper and i've dropped into a hot zone and it's been just plain nuts since i've been back... not that it wasn't nuts before... and no, i didn't have a refreshing, relaxing, good, fun, worthwhile, (insert a positive adjective here) vacation... most of my conversations since i've been back have gone like this: someone: So, you have a good vacation? me: nope someone: Oh, really? Why not? me: we went to see my parents. someone: . . . (unsure if i'm serious or not) me: yep. not many people have even tried to respond to that... but when they do, i'm more than willing to explain how much stress is involved with visiting my folks... i didn't bring much luggage, but there was plenty of baggage to be unpacked... Anyway, here's the start of the entry i was working on last... of course it's unfinished... but you might as well see it... - - begin transmission - - yeah, so i forgot to mention that a few weekends ago, i took the plunge and ugraded a few electronics... since it was tax-free weekend and Best Buy, lb.k.a. "daddy's toy store," decided to participate, i went ahead and plunk down months of my personal savings (i have a personal allowance or slush fund that i can spend on whatever i want)... i walked away with one of them new-fangled black 60 gig video iPods... yeah it's sweet, that's for sure... and the battery is great when i'm listening to music only... videos seem to drain it much quicker, but hey, it's playing videos... VIDEOS... so this new black beaute (beebee - yes, i do name electronics and many other inanimate objects) is kind of replacing my almost-four-year-old 10 gig standard iPod... the catch is that they jacked with the jacks and now i'll need to get a new microphone before i can do interviews on it... (oh, you're so slick Apple - didn't i just give you enough money?)... things i like about beebee include the obvious increase in storage space, the slick look, the smooth velvety case that came with it, VIDEOS and the click wheel that doesn't register unwanted clicks as easily as its predecessor... things i don't like about beebee include the microphone hijacking, i'm afraid to touch it sometime for fear of leaving fingerprints, and the only charger it came with, charges through the laptop... but the iPod wasn't the only upgrade... no, no... i had to replace the amazing burnt-out VCR that nearly blew up my house a while ago... of course, they don't sell VCRs much these days... thanks to Steve Carell, "It's a dead technology"... Sorry Andy, er Steve, but i have these boxes of videos that i'm not about to just throw away... so how do you replace a dead technology?... well, a smart person might go around to Target and Wal*Mart until they found a regular VCR for cheap... i thought about that... or one might even consider upgrading to one of those fancy combination decks with a VCR and a DVD player... those are still around, and quite honestly, that's what i was hoping to do... but when i walked into Best Buy... oh dear... when you enter the lair... i walked out with a combo alright, but it's a DVD recorder with a VCR... a bit more money and well, i've enjoyed it thus far... anyway... - - end transmission - - yeah... so that's the deal-e-o... right now, i need to head off and catch up on my real work, transcribe an interview, turn said transcription into an article for HM (due tomorrow), get lots of other things written, and oh yeah, i've been kicking the tires of the TRu and it's gonna be completely relaunched on 1 September (hopefully)... sure that's a lot but there's always reviews and other fun stuff as well... lots to do... and it's date night! let's see what i come up with... currently listening to: Soul P - The Premiere Skillet - Comatose Hundred Year Storm - Hello from the Children of Planet Earth Last Tuesday - Become What You Believe The Cross Movement - Chronicles: Greatest Hits Vol. 1 Lecrae - After the Music Stops keeping an eye on... peace... love... bdg...

in an mmmBop it's gone...

Hey, it's August. we've already survived a brutal heat wave last week and today, though the temperature is cooled off a bit, my head is throbbing in rhythm with the thoughts and responses to the pink and black checks that have infiltrated my head... yes... well i had nothing to do with it... but yes, well, i'm hearing a lot of feedback and it seems to be the only thing people want to talk about... maybe i'll explain more later when it's more in the rearview mirror and less in a bottle of Excederin... (wow, that sounded like a country song)... In other fun news, i've apparently become something of a standard for bad writing... that blog i previously mentioned that "called me out" as a critic who is more of an "inspirational calendar writer" who "has not yet learned English adjectives" and "writes as good as a six-year-old"... (i'm curious if they know that it should be "well" and not "good")... anyway, they're looking for contributors and to weed out the bad applicants, they'll be compared to my style of writing... apparently i've crossed somebody's path the wrong way... either that or i'm officially famous... anyway, let's just say i have a plan... moving on... I feel like i've been in a bit of a slump as of late, and it may have to do with the albums i've had to review... just a barrage of mediocrity the last couple weeks... but i can't totally blame it on that... i just feel spent... as i mentioned in the last post (way back then), i feel like i need to be stepping up somehow and doing something... i'm hitting a wall so to speak in all my pursuits... realizing more and more that i don't fit in with the techies at my day job and realizing that i don't see eye-to-eye with my other boss on any level (artistically, creatively, ethically, morally, from a business standpoint, nothing) and it's frustrating and frustrating leads to being worn out and spent i suppose... "but I have promises to keep and miles to go before I sleep and miles to go before I sleep" (Robert Frost)... (insert deep sigh here)... is it a lack of faith? is it just confusion? am i simply tired... am i simply overthinking? can anyone else not wait for a new Relient K album or is it just me? i must keep pressing on... i must keep moving... i must slow down... i'm flooded by thoughts that don't seem to mean anything... and they're so random... and they don't make sense... or maybe they're all related and maybe i don't make sense... maybe i just need to shut up... maybe... still... be.. still... Anyway... on a lighter note... i'm down to 80-some pages left in Monster, i'm 50-some pages into Everybody Wants to Go to Heaven, But Nobody Wants to Die, i'm 60-some pages through Ragamuffin Gospel and i've looped back around during the 40-Weeks initiative and i'm reading Isaiah again this week... just something about that book that does my heart right... I've been watching the AOL Sessions archives this morning instead of working on reviews... i watched Mat Kearney, Keane and i'm currently bugging out to Beastie Boys... (they look old)... the next couple months looks phenomenal for new music... i know i'm supposed to be in love with the new Jars and Leigh Nash albums - and i do like them quite a bit - but for me, i simply cannot get the new Skillet album out of my head... it's very nice and i hope it does well for them... other confirmed great, late-year additions to the 2006 music scene include Leeland, Bebo Norman, Brandon Heath, Sandra McCracken, Jonny Lang, Hundred Year Storm, Kim Hill, Chris Tomlin, and Woven Hand... all this and expected releases from Switchfoot, Relient K, Jonezetta, MeWithoutYou, Fernando Ortega, Smokie Norful, and a whole lot more... good grief, how am i going to remember what came out already? Anyway... off i go... here's a few bits of writing i've done that you can check out if you feel so inclined: iTRu-nes playlist (vol. 1) Audio Adrenaline - Adios (Walk TRu) The RunDown: on Audio A coming soon: a new Left to Write, the State of the TRunion Report, a few interviews, and Walk TRus for Out of Eden, Skillet, Jars, Leigh Nash, Leeland, etc... etc... currently listening to: Jonas Brothers - It's About Time Out of Eden - The Hits Leigh Nash - Blue on Blue Leeland - Sound of Melodies keeping an eye on... peace... love... bdg...

Follow Your Leader...

In case it wasn't clear, this has been a rather frustrating week... Tuesday particularly... and it's been quite busy as well... my nights have been claimed by various meetings and/or activities and my days were marked by the always-enjoyable return to a regular work schedule... face-to-face with coworkers and other fun things... anyway, today is a bit different, my eye has been twitching all day and last night actually which is when i discovered that an eyelash has decided to curl up under my eyelid and cling to my eyeball out of any practical reach and causing twitching, itching, and a little bit of pain... but it's okay, it's all good... i'm here office-sitting in some sense, because i'm the only one here... that's right, the only one... i'm not sure how or why it's okay for everyone else to "work" from home on such a regular basis (i get grief at the mere mention of the idea)... but hey, i'd have worked from home today too except that there's potentially going to be a large delivery of equipment that we've been waiting on for a while... it's unclear as to whether or not the burden of unloading it will fall on me, but one can only hope... But before i get into this week, i still need to talk a little bit about last week and some things that weighed heavily on me after my experiences... it all began a month or so ago when the realization hit me that not only would i be taking time off of work to watch the boys for a week while my wife took off with some college friends on a cruise - which is was quite fine with - not only that, but this week was going to coincide with Vacation Bible School at our church... And not only would i be bringing the boys in and dropping them off (that would be far too easy), but i would be volunteering to help... Initially, my reaction was that of sarcastic complaint... i mean, good grief, all those kids, every day for a week... crazy... that's no place for a guy... in fact, i probably thought that same thing last year when it was time to sign up to help at VBS... no, i'm busy... i have my work to do... that's for the moms... take my vacation time to do that? crazy... however, as i began to work this year... as i looked around the church and watched the kids, watched all the festivities and perhaps more importantly watched them react to me... i realized a few things... my eyes were opened to a tragic situation... there were about 360 kids in attendance this year and about 170 workers... here's the surprising, yet unsurprising stat... six adult men... six, including myself... And i must say that every interaction i had with the kids was really rewarding... it was amazing to see their faces light up realizing that they were important enough for me to help out... and i think that's the key... we can have our busy schedules... we can have our "important" jobs... we can have our meetings and promotions and accomplishments and rewards and whatever... but... all of this is worthless if we don't have... love... you can argue (and i would've last year at this time argued) that you show your love by working hard, earning a salary, providing for your family... but when it comes to vacation - if you take any at all - it's "your" time... i realized last week though, that it's not enough... i know it's a common phrase, but time really is the best investment into children's lives... and, no offense to moms out there, but it's not enough for us dads to pass off those "duties" to the moms... kids want and need attention from guys... i'll tell you why... kids understand that a man's time is important and valuable... they understand that we're busy and working ourselves silly... they learn the equations of time = money, money = value, and value = love... when a guy takes time out to be with them, of course their face is going to light up... they finally feel valued... they finally feel important... they finally feel loved... i feel like my thoughts are unravelling a bit and i'm losing my focus, so i'm going to try to bring it back around... look around at the world today... people complain about a lack of respect, lack of moral standards, general unruliness, whatever you want to call it... i say it's partly our fault... we guys simply don't pay attention to the younger generation... even our own kids are starving for our attention and acceptance and love... my initial reaction to working VBS week is probably a common response... "i'm taking my vacation time to get up early and deal with hundreds of crazy kids?"... now, knowing the impact that i can have, my new response is "heck ya!"... the burden of shaping of the future generation falls squarely on our shoulders... (men and women)... and, as the God-ordained spiritual head of the household... (yep, it's in the Bible)... men need to play a BIG part in this process... if we don't show an interest in the spiritual development of our children, neither will they... and we'll have a generation that does "what is right in their own eyes"... a wicked and pervese generation "given over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, with a continual lust for more"... (yes, also in the Bible)... maybe this will be more eye-opening... as men, as fathers, as leaders, we will be held accountable, not only for our actions, but for those we influence as well... i'm starting to realize that the world is falling apart because we as leaders pass the buck rather than being real leaders... in my own life, i've discovered a pattern... i have continually found myself in positions (employement and otherwise) where i report to bosses who are less qualified or less competent or less capable... who do their work to a lower standard than they should... who are either afraid to lead or manage or simply don't know how... this has been a constantly recurring frustration in my life... an i'm starting to wake up to the fact that it's because i'm supposed to be a leader... and i'm simply not doing that... it's easier to let someone else lead, even if they do it wrong... perhaps it's time to step up and be more of a leader... stick my neck out a bit and be that guy... that said, i'm currently praying through a number of possibilities to that effect... they're woven through pretty much every aspect of my life... and some are scary, some are obvious... some, i just don't know yet... but i do know that next year, i'm taking a vacation... and i'm planning to help at VBS... hope that made some sense... i felt like i rambled a bit, but hopefully not too badly... On some lighter notes, the Rob Bell thing was AWESOME... well, it was very cool anyway... kind of odd to pay $10 to see a pastor speak in a bar... odder still that it had sold out weeks before... but it was incredibly stimulating and thought-provoking... very interesting presentation... also, i got blasted by some "critic police" blog back in June... it was kind of amusing to stumble across... but reminds me that i need to explain a few things about music... not today though... for Josh's benefit, i'll say that i need to go write some reviews... and for everyone's benefit, i'll say, hey, check out my David Crowder*Band "B Collision" Walk TRu... okay, that was mostly for my own benefit... for yours, i hope you have a great week... currently listening to: Michael Sweet - Him Beatmart Records - Best of the Submissions Vol. 3 Tammy Trent - I See Beautiful FM Static - Critically Ashamed Audio Adreanaline - (the entire catalog, really) keeping an eye on... peace... love... bdg...

ugh

ugh. ugh. ugh. and ugh some more.... peace... love... bdg...

Sometimes nothing is a cool hand to play...

i am tired. hear me snore. i have lots of thoughts on this past week and all that went down, but right now i'm too beat... for those of you who don't know, i was off of work this past week (well, i worked part time from home)... and my vacation time was spent at the Arctic Edge, a.k.a. Vacation Bible School... my wife went on a cruise with some friends from college to celebrate the big 3-0... and i watched the littles and volunteered as a recreation administrator during our church's VBS week... i don't have th foggiest idea how single parents can do it... i'm freaking BEAT... Anyway, i'm about to head out to a bar to see Rob Bell speak on his "Everything Is Spiritual" tour... should be interesting... (google that if you want more info, i'm not getting a link for you right now)... well... until later... i miss me too... currently listening to: Edison Glass - A Burn or a Shiver Foolish Things - Let's Not Forget the Story Stellar Kart - We Can't Stand Sitting Down Caleb Rowden - Free From Ordinary keeping an eye on... peace... love... bdg...