Follow Your Leader...

In case it wasn't clear, this has been a rather frustrating week... Tuesday particularly... and it's been quite busy as well... my nights have been claimed by various meetings and/or activities and my days were marked by the always-enjoyable return to a regular work schedule... face-to-face with coworkers and other fun things... anyway, today is a bit different, my eye has been twitching all day and last night actually which is when i discovered that an eyelash has decided to curl up under my eyelid and cling to my eyeball out of any practical reach and causing twitching, itching, and a little bit of pain... but it's okay, it's all good... i'm here office-sitting in some sense, because i'm the only one here... that's right, the only one... i'm not sure how or why it's okay for everyone else to "work" from home on such a regular basis (i get grief at the mere mention of the idea)... but hey, i'd have worked from home today too except that there's potentially going to be a large delivery of equipment that we've been waiting on for a while... it's unclear as to whether or not the burden of unloading it will fall on me, but one can only hope... But before i get into this week, i still need to talk a little bit about last week and some things that weighed heavily on me after my experiences... it all began a month or so ago when the realization hit me that not only would i be taking time off of work to watch the boys for a week while my wife took off with some college friends on a cruise - which is was quite fine with - not only that, but this week was going to coincide with Vacation Bible School at our church... And not only would i be bringing the boys in and dropping them off (that would be far too easy), but i would be volunteering to help... Initially, my reaction was that of sarcastic complaint... i mean, good grief, all those kids, every day for a week... crazy... that's no place for a guy... in fact, i probably thought that same thing last year when it was time to sign up to help at VBS... no, i'm busy... i have my work to do... that's for the moms... take my vacation time to do that? crazy... however, as i began to work this year... as i looked around the church and watched the kids, watched all the festivities and perhaps more importantly watched them react to me... i realized a few things... my eyes were opened to a tragic situation... there were about 360 kids in attendance this year and about 170 workers... here's the surprising, yet unsurprising stat... six adult men... six, including myself... And i must say that every interaction i had with the kids was really rewarding... it was amazing to see their faces light up realizing that they were important enough for me to help out... and i think that's the key... we can have our busy schedules... we can have our "important" jobs... we can have our meetings and promotions and accomplishments and rewards and whatever... but... all of this is worthless if we don't have... love... you can argue (and i would've last year at this time argued) that you show your love by working hard, earning a salary, providing for your family... but when it comes to vacation - if you take any at all - it's "your" time... i realized last week though, that it's not enough... i know it's a common phrase, but time really is the best investment into children's lives... and, no offense to moms out there, but it's not enough for us dads to pass off those "duties" to the moms... kids want and need attention from guys... i'll tell you why... kids understand that a man's time is important and valuable... they understand that we're busy and working ourselves silly... they learn the equations of time = money, money = value, and value = love... when a guy takes time out to be with them, of course their face is going to light up... they finally feel valued... they finally feel important... they finally feel loved... i feel like my thoughts are unravelling a bit and i'm losing my focus, so i'm going to try to bring it back around... look around at the world today... people complain about a lack of respect, lack of moral standards, general unruliness, whatever you want to call it... i say it's partly our fault... we guys simply don't pay attention to the younger generation... even our own kids are starving for our attention and acceptance and love... my initial reaction to working VBS week is probably a common response... "i'm taking my vacation time to get up early and deal with hundreds of crazy kids?"... now, knowing the impact that i can have, my new response is "heck ya!"... the burden of shaping of the future generation falls squarely on our shoulders... (men and women)... and, as the God-ordained spiritual head of the household... (yep, it's in the Bible)... men need to play a BIG part in this process... if we don't show an interest in the spiritual development of our children, neither will they... and we'll have a generation that does "what is right in their own eyes"... a wicked and pervese generation "given over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, with a continual lust for more"... (yes, also in the Bible)... maybe this will be more eye-opening... as men, as fathers, as leaders, we will be held accountable, not only for our actions, but for those we influence as well... i'm starting to realize that the world is falling apart because we as leaders pass the buck rather than being real leaders... in my own life, i've discovered a pattern... i have continually found myself in positions (employement and otherwise) where i report to bosses who are less qualified or less competent or less capable... who do their work to a lower standard than they should... who are either afraid to lead or manage or simply don't know how... this has been a constantly recurring frustration in my life... an i'm starting to wake up to the fact that it's because i'm supposed to be a leader... and i'm simply not doing that... it's easier to let someone else lead, even if they do it wrong... perhaps it's time to step up and be more of a leader... stick my neck out a bit and be that guy... that said, i'm currently praying through a number of possibilities to that effect... they're woven through pretty much every aspect of my life... and some are scary, some are obvious... some, i just don't know yet... but i do know that next year, i'm taking a vacation... and i'm planning to help at VBS... hope that made some sense... i felt like i rambled a bit, but hopefully not too badly... On some lighter notes, the Rob Bell thing was AWESOME... well, it was very cool anyway... kind of odd to pay $10 to see a pastor speak in a bar... odder still that it had sold out weeks before... but it was incredibly stimulating and thought-provoking... very interesting presentation... also, i got blasted by some "critic police" blog back in June... it was kind of amusing to stumble across... but reminds me that i need to explain a few things about music... not today though... for Josh's benefit, i'll say that i need to go write some reviews... and for everyone's benefit, i'll say, hey, check out my David Crowder*Band "B Collision" Walk TRu... okay, that was mostly for my own benefit... for yours, i hope you have a great week... currently listening to: Michael Sweet - Him Beatmart Records - Best of the Submissions Vol. 3 Tammy Trent - I See Beautiful FM Static - Critically Ashamed Audio Adreanaline - (the entire catalog, really) keeping an eye on... peace... love... bdg...

ugh

ugh. ugh. ugh. and ugh some more.... peace... love... bdg...

Sometimes nothing is a cool hand to play...

i am tired. hear me snore. i have lots of thoughts on this past week and all that went down, but right now i'm too beat... for those of you who don't know, i was off of work this past week (well, i worked part time from home)... and my vacation time was spent at the Arctic Edge, a.k.a. Vacation Bible School... my wife went on a cruise with some friends from college to celebrate the big 3-0... and i watched the littles and volunteered as a recreation administrator during our church's VBS week... i don't have th foggiest idea how single parents can do it... i'm freaking BEAT... Anyway, i'm about to head out to a bar to see Rob Bell speak on his "Everything Is Spiritual" tour... should be interesting... (google that if you want more info, i'm not getting a link for you right now)... well... until later... i miss me too... currently listening to: Edison Glass - A Burn or a Shiver Foolish Things - Let's Not Forget the Story Stellar Kart - We Can't Stand Sitting Down Caleb Rowden - Free From Ordinary keeping an eye on... peace... love... bdg...

Random intersections and whatnots

it seems that the best chance i have to write is when i'm supposed to be doing reviews or something else... then again, when am i ever NOT supposed to be writing reviews... it's a never ending cycle and therein lies part of my problem... only a part though... anyway... hopefully, this outlet dislodges the logjam of thoughts in my head and allows for some spiffy reviews to come out later on... i will say, that i've gottenn pretty good about writing reviews more efficiently... once i sit down and shut out the world around me, it doesn't take me that long... Well, i've got a few random things to talk about today including a book, two movies and some assorted random thoughts... let's see how we go... before i get started... i can't think of a better thing to begin with than sharing the Rocky Balboa Trailer... okay... i may be the only one excited and the only one in the theaters when it releases this Christmas season... but i'm okay with that... it's freaking ROCKY, dude... Also interesting is the news of a 103-inch plasma television from Panasonic... i suspect you need a rather large room to view that appropriately... but hey, it's BIG and that's AWESOME... (and i'm guessing it will run somewhere between 15 and 20 thousand dollars)... so Sir Janke, who is back on Xanga now, asked a little while ago about the CMCentral Podcasts which were recently launched... i believe he said... "what's the deal?"... well, here's the deal... "J-Gonzo" has been hosting the Weekend22 forever has apparently decided to step out of the box a little and expand his territory... which i think is great... and i have nothing against him... I was presented with the idea of adding podcasts to CMC a while ago - and by "presented with the idea" i mean informed that it was happening - and apparently this is what worked out... so what we have so far, as far as i can tell from my corner of the site, are three podcast flavors, the Weekly Buzz, which runs about 5-6 minutes and touches on all the key news stories and content of the site each week with a rather distracting musical backdrop (just being honest)... the Album Review/Preview podcast, which i think is a little longer and less frequent - pretty self explanatory, song clips, highlights and thoughts on relatively new releases (i hope going forward)... and the Artists on the Phone podcast, which i've yet to experience since there's none published yet (i did catch wind of one being in the works, but who really knows)... so there you have it... that's what the podcasts look like... are they worth checking out? you decide and let me know... i listen to them, but if i'm honest it's mostly for one of two reasons... first, to see whether or not it's good.... and second, to hear my name on the "radio"... i have nothing against J-Gonzo, but i'd be lying if i said that i was too happy about the podcast situation... there are quite a few reasons that i'm not thrilled with the direction CMC has taken in this regard, but i don't feel like it's the time to air dirty laundry... they say that nothing will ever be done the way you'd like it to be done unless you do it yourself and i'd have to agree... which is why, and here's a secret for you, i'm toying with the idea of my own podcast... i have a lot to learn about the editing process and what not, but it may just happen sometime in the near future... also, since we're on the subject of podcasts, i present a short list of some podcasts that i think are definitely worth checking out... podcasts (in no particular order): Relvant Magazine HM Magazine Dirty Little Secrets i guess it wasn't as many as i thought... i have checked out a bunch of others but i'm not ready to wholeheartedly endorse them at this point... now... a movie... went to see Pirates of the Carribbean 2 on Friday night... opening night... kind of... despite it being sold out, we managed to secure seats... albeit mine was broken and i was basically sitting on the floor - at least it was padded... so here we go... really brief review... i liked it... it was everything you could hope for in a pirate movie... swashbuckling action, quite a bit of fantasy, a bit of comedy, and Captain Jack... the make-up department deserves an oscar nod because they did a fabulous job and Johnny Depp was brilliant as expected... it's funny to watch him in 21 Jump Street and then in Pirates and see the difference... and overall, even though i didn't remember much of the first movie, i was still drawn into this movie and i'm hooked on the franchise... can't wait for the next one... especially knowing that Chow Yun-Fat will be involved... now... a book... i finished reading The Last Christian Generation by Josh McDowell... to be completely honest, i'm very happy to be done with it... the last few chapters were completely brutal and laughable... in light of those chapters, the entire book was a waste of my time... here's why... start with a gripping title... something that will grab people's attention and draw them in... begin the book with a logical explanation of the title... next, throw facts at the readers... lots of statistics that they won't necessarily know what to do with until you tell them what it means in accordance with the book... keep pounding these facts down until you've successfully painted a dismal picture of a serious problem... now that they've been convinced, begin explaining how to address the problem... finally, bring it on home with your product placement and solution... does this formula sound familiar? yep... it's a stinkin infomercial... the worst part is that it's cloaked in the disguise of a book that you've already paid for... okay, that probably sounds a bit harsh... so here's the thing... the stats don't lie... i'm certain that this problem exists in our culture... it doesn't take a genius to realize that our society has become increasingly secular and ignorant of the Gospel and the Truth... although, if i'm really being honest, i'd have to question whether or not the last "Christian" generation had actually passed away long ago since i wouldn't really consider this generation to be truly "Christian"... so what do we do about it?... this is why people will buy the book... and this is why they'll either be angered or charged up (emotionally and monetarily)... McDowell hints at some general principles that are great, but the bulk of his "solution" is spent directing readers to his newly founded website that sells "approved" resources, training events, and other such products... simply stated... this is an extended infomercial and i'm pretty bummed that i spent so much time reading it... i may revisit some of the themes from this book later, but i simply don't have time now... okay... another movie... The Gospel on DVD... rented it through netflix and i enjoyed it somewhat... the acting was alright and the soundtrack was definitely cool... and i didn't have too many problems with the plot, but the script was really lacking in places... some really silly transitions and gaps within the storyline as well as some just plain bad writing... and then of course, when the voiceover explains the story to "us idiots" watching, it just becomes a very cheesy moment... like i didn't realize what story this movie parallels... thanks for S-P-E-L-L-I-N-G it out... not a bad rental, but i don't think i'll be buying it... or renting it again for that matter... once is probably fine... alright... i think i covered all my bases and managed to use up quite a bit of my day... off to work on those reviews... but before i go, here's my ritualistic content pimping for the day... Left to Write: What Have You Got to Lose?... fresh from yesterday... currently listening to: Forever Changed - Chapters Circleslide - Uncommon Days Vineyard UK - Unfailing Love Fal.Vor Alliance - A Little Off the Top keeping an eye on... yes, they are both wearing TRu shirts and POC2 hats... AAR! peace... love... bdg...

what's in the air?

well, i should be writing reviews or something else or doing some other work or something i'm sure... but i'm being a little selfish i suppose and getting some things tapped out here for my own venting purposes... first off, i hope everyone had a great fourth of July... i had the day off which is always a good thing, but it felt like Saturday the whole day and this morning i felt a little betrayed when i accepted that i had to come in to work... at least it's a short week ahead of me to compensate for the shortest weekend ever... yesterday morning, we took "Red Rover" (our Durango) into the "car doctor" because "he had an askident in the parking lot," leaving a puddle of antifreeze, coolant, or some other green shiny fluid... (you see how good i am with automobiles)... not sure what the story totally is yet as the mechanic called saying that they couldn't even get it started... the rest of the morning disappeared in a flurry of preparations for a barbeque we were hosting... our guests arrived around three and the festivities began... we were three couples all in all with a few extras and it took less than a half hour, before the World Cup was on (not by my request) and from that point on i was pretty much the only guy still milling about... i had to obviously run the grill and take care of the littles to some extent... kind of annoying, but such is life... television has certainly been quite a socialization deterrent... So the grill was quite interesting in and of itself... we had some chicken that was soaked overnight in marinade and well, the marinade was based in olive oil which has a great reaction to fire... the flames literally shot up over my head... it was spectacular and little boy in particular was captivated by the display... he has, by the way, been enamored with fire as of late, ever since we watched Fantastic 4 and he came downstairs from his nap in the middle of it... the "man on fire" really got him charged up... and from that point on... fire has fully captured his attention... thus, the giant flames coming from the grill were quite an attraction... Anyway, as the afternoon moved on - and by the way, the food was delicious - we had some threats of rain and what not so we ended up inside for a while talking and, of course, watching CNN rotate the same five 30 second videos of North Korea that they had while they said the same thing about the missle tests over and over.... not the best scene, but we did actually muster a little bit of conversation and i think overall the evening went well... After the littles were in bed is when the fireworks began... (actual fireworks mind you)... and it wasn't long before i could hear little boy squealing, oohing and ahhing out his window at the spectacle... being the nice guy that i am, i went up and brought the boy outside so that we could watch them together... this is an experience that everyone should have with their kids... there's not too many years when fireworks are new and exciting still... and there's not too much that can cap off a day like discussing with little boy whether the moon has been shot out of the sky by the fireworks or if it's simply hiding in its house of clouds looking out the windows once in a while to see if it's safe to come outside... which brings me here today, wanting to get some thoughts out on screen i guess... back at work, back to the frustrations of everyday life... facing accusations and dealing with people who make it hard to love my neighbor... for instance, because it's so fresh in my mind... a female collegue whose official title is "project manager"... someone who's told me in the past how she can manage the schedules of other people very well and effectively (essential to project management), but when it comes to her own schedule, she can't manage time well... this statement (and i'm getting a little sidetracked) reminds me of when a neighbor of mine was starting up a landscaping company and became upset with me because i wouldn't agree to let him mow my lawn... my reason for not agreeing, besides being cheap, was that his lawn looked terrible... if he doesn't do a good job on his own lawn, why would i trust him with mine?... this is sadly the way i've found that most people who call themselves Christians operate as well... we're really good at telling others how they should live, but do our own lives reflect that? (see, i got sidetracked)... the example that's fresh in my head, though, actually ties into this as well... so, we're talking about this whole North Korea thing... and i say, somewhat off-handedly that i feel sorry for President Bush... and seriously, i do... the poor guy has the most stressful job in the world, and then you take days like yesterday that are supposed to be pretty fun and festive... and WHAM! you 've got a crazy nation on the other side of the world trying out weapons that could potentially be severe threats to our nation... i mean, come on, can the guy get a chance to exhale for goodness sake? well, i no sooner get that sentiment out into the open air, before it's countered with "Eh, he deserves it, he takes enough vacation the rest of the year"... well, i bit my tongue because it was a clear reminder of why i rarely engage in small talk at work and why i generally avoid conversations that have any political themes... but my gosh, are you freaking kidding me? how on earth can someone who works for a "Christian" organization and who is a leader at her church stand there and coldly, callously make a statement like that?... where in that statement is there any room for love and compassion? So i stood before this resounding gong for another minute or so as she quickly moved on to explaining how she managed to watch the fireworks show on "The Mall" (downtown DC, for those who aren't sure) and still avoid the traffic at the end of the night... Look, i don't care what you think about President Bush... whether you think he's a lunatic, dishonest, whatever or if you like him... it doesn't matter... he's the leader of our nation (for the Americans) and our nation happens to be rather influential in the rest of the world (for the non-Americans) and the bottom line is that he deserves a healthy level of respect based on his position regardless of what your opinion is... especially as Christians, we're specifically told to respect the authorities that are in control here on earth... we should realize that these leaders have been granted their positions by God's will... and that's not a mistake... if we can't accept that, then that's a weakness in our faith... and even if he wasn't the president, he's a person and as such, he's our neighbor... deserving of our love and compassion... now to be fair, when i heard about the missle testing, i was quite ok with North Korea disappearing from the world... or at least the leadership within that nation... i realize that it makes me somewhat of a hypocrite and i've since come to realize that all these things that i've just said about President Bush are also true of Kim Jong-il... that's hard to swallow, but it's very much the truth... so then the question remains... how does one love people of that caliber? wow... that ended up being longer than i expected or intended... but i think it may just tie into the "My Enemies" post from earlier... in some way... anyway... thanks for reading if you made it this far... i suppose if i want comments i need to say something controversial like... well, never mind... have a great week... currently listening to: Various Artists - My Other Band Volume 1 Matthew West - Sellout Watashi Wa - Eager Seas Virtue - Testimony keeping an eye on... peace... love... bdg...