DAAAAAAAAAAAAANG!... i was about to post about how i'm in a rut and not feeling motivated to do much and how i got some pretty discouraging news about theTRu and how i'm stuck in a moment that i can't quite get out of and how i have to re-evaluate things yet again and how my budget is all screwed up and how things just seem so crazy and hectic and out of control and how it's tough to see my feet landing in front of me with each step and how i'm just frustrated and confused and felling like i'm getting ready to burn out and smack dab in the middle of all this... dropped into the middle of my office and soon to be dropped into my lap... is a brand spankin new laptop courtesy of my day job... that's pretty dang sweet... it's a monster too... gonna have some fun building that bad boy out, i'll tell you that much... but first... to accomplish today's goals... back later... PS. Check out the edited version of my Pigeon John Interview.... yes, edited... (the powers that be and all that jazz)... a completely unedited version will appear on theTRu sometime next week... currently listening to: Phil Joel - the deliberatePeople album keeping an eye on...
peace... love... bdg... |
15 September, 2006
grace in the midst of trials...
11 September, 2006
five years ago today...
FIVE YEARS AGO TODAY 11 September 2001 honestly i have no idea what to say and yet as i writer i have so much to say. this all seems so unreal and yet at the same time is is so hauntingly, chillingly real. Knowing that i have nothing to truly fear, i still fear. i cannot believe this, yet i know it to be true. i feel the evil, the thick black hand gripping this event. i have felt this level of evil before and recognize the tone. my mind screams nothing good will come of this and at the same time i know that God will work ALL things for the good of His will. it's at times like these i realize how little i know of important things. How little i've done. all my accomplishments, all my possessions, all my goals are merely temporal. i realize how little i have actually read of the Bible and how much i skimmed or skipped over. i can't help but realize that i have blown it in so many aspects of my life. i am overcome by helplessness when i should be bolstered by the strength i know exists for my benefit. i know God cares for me and loves me and will keep me as His own. and i can't help but feel as though i have let Him down. I have spent so much time exploring for new talents that i have neglected the ones i knew of. i have stretched my resources to a point where i have become a mediocre vessel. my only prayer is for God's direction and guidance as i devote all i have left solely to Him. i am so worn down that i know i need rest and at the same time i have so much to make up for . . . 12 September 2001 a cup is placed before me father this anxiety is crushing me this cup before me i cannot drink father take this cup from me i grasp this cup before me father take this cup from me peace... love... bdg... |
06 September, 2006
shameless self promo
This is shameless, i know... but in lieu of an actual post... can i please share my enthusiasm about the successful relaunch of theTRu? yes, i'm excited and i'm devoting more time to making it work... that is all... for now... currently listening to: Michelle Bonilla - Phenomenal
peace... love... bdg... |
28 August, 2006
i had a dream...
"we are bored of all the things we know..." interesting... This one came to me in a dream, so if it's incongruent or whatever, you know why... when i dream and remember it, i'm never quite sure why or, more importantly, if i got the whole thing... anyway, here goes... (enter dream state) i had lost someone close to me... i'm not sure who, but it the pain was so real, i knew that much was true... before i even have time for the weight of the news to settle in before the phone rings... a dear friend calling, not to console me, but to ask for prayer because he had lost someone as well... the lump in my throat grew as his words added to the weight already on my heart... but it wasn't over yet... as the day wore on i learned of numerous neighbors, church members, family, friends and mere acquaintances who were all dealing with the sudden loss of someone close to them... my own loss seemed so much less significant as i shared in the grief of others, agonizing in harmony as we dealt with the loss together... oddly enough, we found ourselves gathered at a service of sorts and, out of my character, i volunteered to speak in front of everyone... we couldn't figure out why all these "tragedies" had occurred at once... what was the reasoning behind it?... how could God do this to us all... why?... it didn't make sense to any of us... i chose to read from the book of Lamentations... even though many in attendance weren't Christians and some were decisively against the idea of reading from Scripture, it seemed that the words reached beyond all these barriers and, in the midst of our common fate, everyone seemed to hang on each word... this book that many people ignore suddenly had a wealth of significance and, with a captive audience, it was amazing to hear the Word of God speak and to watch the effects thereof as each syllable was absorbed... it was sometime during this presentation, as i looked out on the crowd, when it dawned on me... this eclectic group of individuals from all walks of life, whom i knew from different avenues of my life, had all intersected here at this moment to listen to God speak... and the only explanation for this was tragedy... tragedy had created a forced community based on a common emotion and struggle... and through this community, God was at work... God was redeeming this tragedy before my very eyes... if you noticed, in the last thought, the "tragedy" became a single event... that's because it was about this time that it was i who had died... (which explains my willingness to speak in front of everyone)... though, i'm sure it's somewhat egotistic to imagine such a turnout and reach, the point was driven home and i quickly awakened with a cold chill... (end dream state) now, i'm not sure about this dream... where exactly it came from or all that it was meant to be, but i suspect that it has to do with the fact that i just recently read through Lamentations, a book that has held a special place in my heart the last few years after it had been explained to me in a new way... i'm also reading through David Crowder's book about death and loss... and maybe there's more going on here than i know... i had this dream before i went up to visit my parents and during the trip, my mom asked me why life is so hard... i don't really agree that life is all that hard, but it's a question that i've heard and been asked before... this time, though, in light of this dream, i was quick to respond that life is difficult, because trials force us into a state of community which is what we were made for... this is how we're wired... anyway, just felt like sharing that, and i've learned to go with it when i have a feeling like that... Quick tidbits... HM article came off without any reall hitches, got some new reviews in the works, got a RunDown coming today or tomorrow covering some intrumental albums, got a whole lot of stuff going down over at theTRu... the redesign is looking pretty slick and coming together nicely... on schedule to launch at the end of the week... and hopefully, it will be the beginning of my exodus... more on that another time... so, i'm busy busy busy, but i'll try to get another entry up sometime this week, perhaps one that doesn't include me dying, but no promises... lots to write this week... and lots to do... ps. anyone seen that crazy Janke guy lately? he's fallen off the wagon... currently listening to: Salvador - Dismiss the Mystery keeping an eye on...
peace... love... bdg... |
24 August, 2006
Fresh out the Fryin Pan into the Fire
So i'm back... i've been back actually... just that, well, it's as if i'm a paratrooper and i've dropped into a hot zone and it's been just plain nuts since i've been back... not that it wasn't nuts before... and no, i didn't have a refreshing, relaxing, good, fun, worthwhile, (insert a positive adjective here) vacation... most of my conversations since i've been back have gone like this:
not many people have even tried to respond to that... but when they do, i'm more than willing to explain how much stress is involved with visiting my folks... i didn't bring much luggage, but there was plenty of baggage to be unpacked... Anyway, here's the start of the entry i was working on last... of course it's unfinished... but you might as well see it... - - begin transmission - - yeah, so i forgot to mention that a few weekends ago, i took the plunge and ugraded a few electronics... since it was tax-free weekend and Best Buy, lb.k.a. "daddy's toy store," decided to participate, i went ahead and plunk down months of my personal savings (i have a personal allowance or slush fund that i can spend on whatever i want)... i walked away with one of them new-fangled black 60 gig video iPods... yeah it's sweet, that's for sure... and the battery is great when i'm listening to music only... videos seem to drain it much quicker, but hey, it's playing videos... VIDEOS... so this new black beaute (beebee - yes, i do name electronics and many other inanimate objects) is kind of replacing my almost-four-year-old 10 gig standard iPod... the catch is that they jacked with the jacks and now i'll need to get a new microphone before i can do interviews on it... (oh, you're so slick Apple - didn't i just give you enough money?)... things i like about beebee include the obvious increase in storage space, the slick look, the smooth velvety case that came with it, VIDEOS and the click wheel that doesn't register unwanted clicks as easily as its predecessor... things i don't like about beebee include the microphone hijacking, i'm afraid to touch it sometime for fear of leaving fingerprints, and the only charger it came with, charges through the laptop... but the iPod wasn't the only upgrade... no, no... i had to replace the amazing burnt-out VCR that nearly blew up my house a while ago... of course, they don't sell VCRs much these days... thanks to Steve Carell, "It's a dead technology"... Sorry Andy, er Steve, but i have these boxes of videos that i'm not about to just throw away... so how do you replace a dead technology?... well, a smart person might go around to Target and Wal*Mart until they found a regular VCR for cheap... i thought about that... or one might even consider upgrading to one of those fancy combination decks with a VCR and a DVD player... those are still around, and quite honestly, that's what i was hoping to do... but when i walked into Best Buy... oh dear... when you enter the lair... i walked out with a combo alright, but it's a DVD recorder with a VCR... a bit more money and well, i've enjoyed it thus far... anyway... - - end transmission - - yeah... so that's the deal-e-o... right now, i need to head off and catch up on my real work, transcribe an interview, turn said transcription into an article for HM (due tomorrow), get lots of other things written, and oh yeah, i've been kicking the tires of the TRu and it's gonna be completely relaunched on 1 September (hopefully)... sure that's a lot but there's always reviews and other fun stuff as well... lots to do... and it's date night! let's see what i come up with... currently listening to: Soul P - The Premiere keeping an eye on...
peace... love... bdg... |
10 August, 2006
in an mmmBop it's gone...
Hey, it's August. we've already survived a brutal heat wave last week and today, though the temperature is cooled off a bit, my head is throbbing in rhythm with the thoughts and responses to the pink and black checks that have infiltrated my head... yes... well i had nothing to do with it... but yes, well, i'm hearing a lot of feedback and it seems to be the only thing people want to talk about... maybe i'll explain more later when it's more in the rearview mirror and less in a bottle of Excederin... (wow, that sounded like a country song)... In other fun news, i've apparently become something of a standard for bad writing... that blog i previously mentioned that "called me out" as a critic who is more of an "inspirational calendar writer" who "has not yet learned English adjectives" and "writes as good as a six-year-old"... (i'm curious if they know that it should be "well" and not "good")... anyway, they're looking for contributors and to weed out the bad applicants, they'll be compared to my style of writing... apparently i've crossed somebody's path the wrong way... either that or i'm officially famous... anyway, let's just say i have a plan... moving on... I feel like i've been in a bit of a slump as of late, and it may have to do with the albums i've had to review... just a barrage of mediocrity the last couple weeks... but i can't totally blame it on that... i just feel spent... as i mentioned in the last post (way back then), i feel like i need to be stepping up somehow and doing something... i'm hitting a wall so to speak in all my pursuits... realizing more and more that i don't fit in with the techies at my day job and realizing that i don't see eye-to-eye with my other boss on any level (artistically, creatively, ethically, morally, from a business standpoint, nothing) and it's frustrating and frustrating leads to being worn out and spent i suppose... "but I have promises to keep and miles to go before I sleep and miles to go before I sleep" (Robert Frost)... (insert deep sigh here)... is it a lack of faith? is it just confusion? am i simply tired... am i simply overthinking? can anyone else not wait for a new Relient K album or is it just me? i must keep pressing on... i must keep moving... i must slow down... i'm flooded by thoughts that don't seem to mean anything... and they're so random... and they don't make sense... or maybe they're all related and maybe i don't make sense... maybe i just need to shut up... maybe... still... be.. still... Anyway... on a lighter note... i'm down to 80-some pages left in Monster, i'm 50-some pages into Everybody Wants to Go to Heaven, But Nobody Wants to Die, i'm 60-some pages through Ragamuffin Gospel and i've looped back around during the 40-Weeks initiative and i'm reading Isaiah again this week... just something about that book that does my heart right... I've been watching the AOL Sessions archives this morning instead of working on reviews... i watched Mat Kearney, Keane and i'm currently bugging out to Beastie Boys... (they look old)... the next couple months looks phenomenal for new music... i know i'm supposed to be in love with the new Jars and Leigh Nash albums - and i do like them quite a bit - but for me, i simply cannot get the new Skillet album out of my head... it's very nice and i hope it does well for them... other confirmed great, late-year additions to the 2006 music scene include Leeland, Bebo Norman, Brandon Heath, Sandra McCracken, Jonny Lang, Hundred Year Storm, Kim Hill, Chris Tomlin, and Woven Hand... all this and expected releases from Switchfoot, Relient K, Jonezetta, MeWithoutYou, Fernando Ortega, Smokie Norful, and a whole lot more... good grief, how am i going to remember what came out already? Anyway... off i go... here's a few bits of writing i've done that you can check out if you feel so inclined: coming soon: a new Left to Write, the State of the TRunion Report, a few interviews, and Walk TRus for Out of Eden, Skillet, Jars, Leigh Nash, Leeland, etc... etc... currently listening to: Jonas Brothers - It's About Time
peace... love... bdg... |
31 July, 2006
Follow Your Leader...
In case it wasn't clear, this has been a rather frustrating week... Tuesday particularly... and it's been quite busy as well... my nights have been claimed by various meetings and/or activities and my days were marked by the always-enjoyable return to a regular work schedule... face-to-face with coworkers and other fun things... anyway, today is a bit different, my eye has been twitching all day and last night actually which is when i discovered that an eyelash has decided to curl up under my eyelid and cling to my eyeball out of any practical reach and causing twitching, itching, and a little bit of pain... but it's okay, it's all good... i'm here office-sitting in some sense, because i'm the only one here... that's right, the only one... i'm not sure how or why it's okay for everyone else to "work" from home on such a regular basis (i get grief at the mere mention of the idea)... but hey, i'd have worked from home today too except that there's potentially going to be a large delivery of equipment that we've been waiting on for a while... it's unclear as to whether or not the burden of unloading it will fall on me, but one can only hope... But before i get into this week, i still need to talk a little bit about last week and some things that weighed heavily on me after my experiences... it all began a month or so ago when the realization hit me that not only would i be taking time off of work to watch the boys for a week while my wife took off with some college friends on a cruise - which is was quite fine with - not only that, but this week was going to coincide with Vacation Bible School at our church... And not only would i be bringing the boys in and dropping them off (that would be far too easy), but i would be volunteering to help... Initially, my reaction was that of sarcastic complaint... i mean, good grief, all those kids, every day for a week... crazy... that's no place for a guy... in fact, i probably thought that same thing last year when it was time to sign up to help at VBS... no, i'm busy... i have my work to do... that's for the moms... take my vacation time to do that? crazy... however, as i began to work this year... as i looked around the church and watched the kids, watched all the festivities and perhaps more importantly watched them react to me... i realized a few things... my eyes were opened to a tragic situation... there were about 360 kids in attendance this year and about 170 workers... here's the surprising, yet unsurprising stat... six adult men... six, including myself... And i must say that every interaction i had with the kids was really rewarding... it was amazing to see their faces light up realizing that they were important enough for me to help out... and i think that's the key... we can have our busy schedules... we can have our "important" jobs... we can have our meetings and promotions and accomplishments and rewards and whatever... but... all of this is worthless if we don't have... love... you can argue (and i would've last year at this time argued) that you show your love by working hard, earning a salary, providing for your family... but when it comes to vacation - if you take any at all - it's "your" time... i realized last week though, that it's not enough... i know it's a common phrase, but time really is the best investment into children's lives... and, no offense to moms out there, but it's not enough for us dads to pass off those "duties" to the moms... kids want and need attention from guys... i'll tell you why... kids understand that a man's time is important and valuable... they understand that we're busy and working ourselves silly... they learn the equations of time = money, money = value, and value = love... when a guy takes time out to be with them, of course their face is going to light up... they finally feel valued... they finally feel important... they finally feel loved... i feel like my thoughts are unravelling a bit and i'm losing my focus, so i'm going to try to bring it back around... look around at the world today... people complain about a lack of respect, lack of moral standards, general unruliness, whatever you want to call it... i say it's partly our fault... we guys simply don't pay attention to the younger generation... even our own kids are starving for our attention and acceptance and love... my initial reaction to working VBS week is probably a common response... "i'm taking my vacation time to get up early and deal with hundreds of crazy kids?"... now, knowing the impact that i can have, my new response is "heck ya!"... the burden of shaping of the future generation falls squarely on our shoulders... (men and women)... and, as the God-ordained spiritual head of the household... (yep, it's in the Bible)... men need to play a BIG part in this process... if we don't show an interest in the spiritual development of our children, neither will they... and we'll have a generation that does "what is right in their own eyes"... a wicked and pervese generation "given over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, with a continual lust for more"... (yes, also in the Bible)... maybe this will be more eye-opening... as men, as fathers, as leaders, we will be held accountable, not only for our actions, but for those we influence as well... i'm starting to realize that the world is falling apart because we as leaders pass the buck rather than being real leaders... in my own life, i've discovered a pattern... i have continually found myself in positions (employement and otherwise) where i report to bosses who are less qualified or less competent or less capable... who do their work to a lower standard than they should... who are either afraid to lead or manage or simply don't know how... this has been a constantly recurring frustration in my life... an i'm starting to wake up to the fact that it's because i'm supposed to be a leader... and i'm simply not doing that... it's easier to let someone else lead, even if they do it wrong... perhaps it's time to step up and be more of a leader... stick my neck out a bit and be that guy... that said, i'm currently praying through a number of possibilities to that effect... they're woven through pretty much every aspect of my life... and some are scary, some are obvious... some, i just don't know yet... but i do know that next year, i'm taking a vacation... and i'm planning to help at VBS... hope that made some sense... i felt like i rambled a bit, but hopefully not too badly... On some lighter notes, the Rob Bell thing was AWESOME... well, it was very cool anyway... kind of odd to pay $10 to see a pastor speak in a bar... odder still that it had sold out weeks before... but it was incredibly stimulating and thought-provoking... very interesting presentation... also, i got blasted by some "critic police" blog back in June... it was kind of amusing to stumble across... but reminds me that i need to explain a few things about music... not today though... for Josh's benefit, i'll say that i need to go write some reviews... and for everyone's benefit, i'll say, hey, check out my David Crowder*Band "B Collision" Walk TRu... okay, that was mostly for my own benefit... for yours, i hope you have a great week... currently listening to: Michael Sweet - Him
peace... love... bdg... |
25 July, 2006
21 July, 2006
Sometimes nothing is a cool hand to play...
i am tired. hear me snore. i have lots of thoughts on this past week and all that went down, but right now i'm too beat... for those of you who don't know, i was off of work this past week (well, i worked part time from home)... and my vacation time was spent at the Arctic Edge, a.k.a. Vacation Bible School... my wife went on a cruise with some friends from college to celebrate the big 3-0... and i watched the littles and volunteered as a recreation administrator during our church's VBS week... i don't have th foggiest idea how single parents can do it... i'm freaking BEAT... Anyway, i'm about to head out to a bar to see Rob Bell speak on his "Everything Is Spiritual" tour... should be interesting... (google that if you want more info, i'm not getting a link for you right now)... well... until later... i miss me too... currently listening to: Edison Glass - A Burn or a Shiver peace... love... bdg... |
11 July, 2006
Random intersections and whatnots
it seems that the best chance i have to write is when i'm supposed to be doing reviews or something else... then again, when am i ever NOT supposed to be writing reviews... it's a never ending cycle and therein lies part of my problem... only a part though... anyway... hopefully, this outlet dislodges the logjam of thoughts in my head and allows for some spiffy reviews to come out later on... i will say, that i've gottenn pretty good about writing reviews more efficiently... once i sit down and shut out the world around me, it doesn't take me that long... Well, i've got a few random things to talk about today including a book, two movies and some assorted random thoughts... let's see how we go... before i get started... i can't think of a better thing to begin with than sharing the Rocky Balboa Trailer... okay... i may be the only one excited and the only one in the theaters when it releases this Christmas season... but i'm okay with that... it's freaking ROCKY, dude... Also interesting is the news of a 103-inch plasma television from Panasonic... i suspect you need a rather large room to view that appropriately... but hey, it's BIG and that's AWESOME... (and i'm guessing it will run somewhere between 15 and 20 thousand dollars)... so Sir Janke, who is back on Xanga now, asked a little while ago about the CMCentral Podcasts which were recently launched... i believe he said... "what's the deal?"... well, here's the deal... "J-Gonzo" has been hosting the Weekend22 forever has apparently decided to step out of the box a little and expand his territory... which i think is great... and i have nothing against him... I was presented with the idea of adding podcasts to CMC a while ago - and by "presented with the idea" i mean informed that it was happening - and apparently this is what worked out... so what we have so far, as far as i can tell from my corner of the site, are three podcast flavors, the Weekly Buzz, which runs about 5-6 minutes and touches on all the key news stories and content of the site each week with a rather distracting musical backdrop (just being honest)... the Album Review/Preview podcast, which i think is a little longer and less frequent - pretty self explanatory, song clips, highlights and thoughts on relatively new releases (i hope going forward)... and the Artists on the Phone podcast, which i've yet to experience since there's none published yet (i did catch wind of one being in the works, but who really knows)... so there you have it... that's what the podcasts look like... are they worth checking out? you decide and let me know... i listen to them, but if i'm honest it's mostly for one of two reasons... first, to see whether or not it's good.... and second, to hear my name on the "radio"... i have nothing against J-Gonzo, but i'd be lying if i said that i was too happy about the podcast situation... there are quite a few reasons that i'm not thrilled with the direction CMC has taken in this regard, but i don't feel like it's the time to air dirty laundry... they say that nothing will ever be done the way you'd like it to be done unless you do it yourself and i'd have to agree... which is why, and here's a secret for you, i'm toying with the idea of my own podcast... i have a lot to learn about the editing process and what not, but it may just happen sometime in the near future... also, since we're on the subject of podcasts, i present a short list of some podcasts that i think are definitely worth checking out...
i guess it wasn't as many as i thought... i have checked out a bunch of others but i'm not ready to wholeheartedly endorse them at this point... now... a movie... went to see Pirates of the Carribbean 2 on Friday night... opening night... kind of... despite it being sold out, we managed to secure seats... albeit mine was broken and i was basically sitting on the floor - at least it was padded... so here we go... really brief review... i liked it... it was everything you could hope for in a pirate movie... swashbuckling action, quite a bit of fantasy, a bit of comedy, and Captain Jack... the make-up department deserves an oscar nod because they did a fabulous job and Johnny Depp was brilliant as expected... it's funny to watch him in 21 Jump Street and then in Pirates and see the difference... and overall, even though i didn't remember much of the first movie, i was still drawn into this movie and i'm hooked on the franchise... can't wait for the next one... especially knowing that Chow Yun-Fat will be involved... now... a book... i finished reading The Last Christian Generation by Josh McDowell... to be completely honest, i'm very happy to be done with it... the last few chapters were completely brutal and laughable... in light of those chapters, the entire book was a waste of my time... here's why... start with a gripping title... something that will grab people's attention and draw them in... begin the book with a logical explanation of the title... next, throw facts at the readers... lots of statistics that they won't necessarily know what to do with until you tell them what it means in accordance with the book... keep pounding these facts down until you've successfully painted a dismal picture of a serious problem... now that they've been convinced, begin explaining how to address the problem... finally, bring it on home with your product placement and solution... does this formula sound familiar? yep... it's a stinkin infomercial... the worst part is that it's cloaked in the disguise of a book that you've already paid for... okay, that probably sounds a bit harsh... so here's the thing... the stats don't lie... i'm certain that this problem exists in our culture... it doesn't take a genius to realize that our society has become increasingly secular and ignorant of the Gospel and the Truth... although, if i'm really being honest, i'd have to question whether or not the last "Christian" generation had actually passed away long ago since i wouldn't really consider this generation to be truly "Christian"... so what do we do about it?... this is why people will buy the book... and this is why they'll either be angered or charged up (emotionally and monetarily)... McDowell hints at some general principles that are great, but the bulk of his "solution" is spent directing readers to his newly founded website that sells "approved" resources, training events, and other such products... simply stated... this is an extended infomercial and i'm pretty bummed that i spent so much time reading it... i may revisit some of the themes from this book later, but i simply don't have time now... okay... another movie... The Gospel on DVD... rented it through netflix and i enjoyed it somewhat... the acting was alright and the soundtrack was definitely cool... and i didn't have too many problems with the plot, but the script was really lacking in places... some really silly transitions and gaps within the storyline as well as some just plain bad writing... and then of course, when the voiceover explains the story to "us idiots" watching, it just becomes a very cheesy moment... like i didn't realize what story this movie parallels... thanks for S-P-E-L-L-I-N-G it out... not a bad rental, but i don't think i'll be buying it... or renting it again for that matter... once is probably fine... alright... i think i covered all my bases and managed to use up quite a bit of my day... off to work on those reviews... but before i go, here's my ritualistic content pimping for the day... Left to Write: What Have You Got to Lose?... fresh from yesterday... currently listening to: Forever Changed - Chapters keeping an eye on...
peace... love... bdg... |
05 July, 2006
what's in the air?
well, i should be writing reviews or something else or doing some other work or something i'm sure... but i'm being a little selfish i suppose and getting some things tapped out here for my own venting purposes... first off, i hope everyone had a great fourth of July... i had the day off which is always a good thing, but it felt like Saturday the whole day and this morning i felt a little betrayed when i accepted that i had to come in to work... at least it's a short week ahead of me to compensate for the shortest weekend ever... yesterday morning, we took "Red Rover" (our Durango) into the "car doctor" because "he had an askident in the parking lot," leaving a puddle of antifreeze, coolant, or some other green shiny fluid... (you see how good i am with automobiles)... not sure what the story totally is yet as the mechanic called saying that they couldn't even get it started... the rest of the morning disappeared in a flurry of preparations for a barbeque we were hosting... our guests arrived around three and the festivities began... we were three couples all in all with a few extras and it took less than a half hour, before the World Cup was on (not by my request) and from that point on i was pretty much the only guy still milling about... i had to obviously run the grill and take care of the littles to some extent... kind of annoying, but such is life... television has certainly been quite a socialization deterrent... So the grill was quite interesting in and of itself... we had some chicken that was soaked overnight in marinade and well, the marinade was based in olive oil which has a great reaction to fire... the flames literally shot up over my head... it was spectacular and little boy in particular was captivated by the display... he has, by the way, been enamored with fire as of late, ever since we watched Fantastic 4 and he came downstairs from his nap in the middle of it... the "man on fire" really got him charged up... and from that point on... fire has fully captured his attention... thus, the giant flames coming from the grill were quite an attraction... Anyway, as the afternoon moved on - and by the way, the food was delicious - we had some threats of rain and what not so we ended up inside for a while talking and, of course, watching CNN rotate the same five 30 second videos of North Korea that they had while they said the same thing about the missle tests over and over.... not the best scene, but we did actually muster a little bit of conversation and i think overall the evening went well... After the littles were in bed is when the fireworks began... (actual fireworks mind you)... and it wasn't long before i could hear little boy squealing, oohing and ahhing out his window at the spectacle... being the nice guy that i am, i went up and brought the boy outside so that we could watch them together... this is an experience that everyone should have with their kids... there's not too many years when fireworks are new and exciting still... and there's not too much that can cap off a day like discussing with little boy whether the moon has been shot out of the sky by the fireworks or if it's simply hiding in its house of clouds looking out the windows once in a while to see if it's safe to come outside... which brings me here today, wanting to get some thoughts out on screen i guess... back at work, back to the frustrations of everyday life... facing accusations and dealing with people who make it hard to love my neighbor... for instance, because it's so fresh in my mind... a female collegue whose official title is "project manager"... someone who's told me in the past how she can manage the schedules of other people very well and effectively (essential to project management), but when it comes to her own schedule, she can't manage time well... this statement (and i'm getting a little sidetracked) reminds me of when a neighbor of mine was starting up a landscaping company and became upset with me because i wouldn't agree to let him mow my lawn... my reason for not agreeing, besides being cheap, was that his lawn looked terrible... if he doesn't do a good job on his own lawn, why would i trust him with mine?... this is sadly the way i've found that most people who call themselves Christians operate as well... we're really good at telling others how they should live, but do our own lives reflect that? (see, i got sidetracked)... the example that's fresh in my head, though, actually ties into this as well... so, we're talking about this whole North Korea thing... and i say, somewhat off-handedly that i feel sorry for President Bush... and seriously, i do... the poor guy has the most stressful job in the world, and then you take days like yesterday that are supposed to be pretty fun and festive... and WHAM! you 've got a crazy nation on the other side of the world trying out weapons that could potentially be severe threats to our nation... i mean, come on, can the guy get a chance to exhale for goodness sake? well, i no sooner get that sentiment out into the open air, before it's countered with "Eh, he deserves it, he takes enough vacation the rest of the year"... well, i bit my tongue because it was a clear reminder of why i rarely engage in small talk at work and why i generally avoid conversations that have any political themes... but my gosh, are you freaking kidding me? how on earth can someone who works for a "Christian" organization and who is a leader at her church stand there and coldly, callously make a statement like that?... where in that statement is there any room for love and compassion? So i stood before this resounding gong for another minute or so as she quickly moved on to explaining how she managed to watch the fireworks show on "The Mall" (downtown DC, for those who aren't sure) and still avoid the traffic at the end of the night... Look, i don't care what you think about President Bush... whether you think he's a lunatic, dishonest, whatever or if you like him... it doesn't matter... he's the leader of our nation (for the Americans) and our nation happens to be rather influential in the rest of the world (for the non-Americans) and the bottom line is that he deserves a healthy level of respect based on his position regardless of what your opinion is... especially as Christians, we're specifically told to respect the authorities that are in control here on earth... we should realize that these leaders have been granted their positions by God's will... and that's not a mistake... if we can't accept that, then that's a weakness in our faith... and even if he wasn't the president, he's a person and as such, he's our neighbor... deserving of our love and compassion... now to be fair, when i heard about the missle testing, i was quite ok with North Korea disappearing from the world... or at least the leadership within that nation... i realize that it makes me somewhat of a hypocrite and i've since come to realize that all these things that i've just said about President Bush are also true of Kim Jong-il... that's hard to swallow, but it's very much the truth... so then the question remains... how does one love people of that caliber? wow... that ended up being longer than i expected or intended... but i think it may just tie into the "My Enemies" post from earlier... in some way... anyway... thanks for reading if you made it this far... i suppose if i want comments i need to say something controversial like... well, never mind... have a great week... currently listening to: Various Artists - My Other Band Volume 1 keeping an eye on...
peace... love... bdg... |
28 June, 2006
get a little freaky...
So i got a little crazy and took a shot at creativity... hoping to push beyond the normal coverage and do something original...
what do you think? (that's linked to what i'm really pointing you to, not the graphic). peace... love... bdg... |
26 June, 2006
the answer to the questions
So, i suppose i owe something of an explanation or an apology or something... i suppose it was somewhat irresponsible to post that last week in the thick of one of the busiest weeks i've had going in a while, knowing that i couldn't follow up or explain it any time soon... well... for the quick answer... no. No, i'm not leaving my position at CMCentral.com... a few follow-up Q&A's because i know you're all so investigative and hard-hitting... Q: Have you considered leaving CMCentral? Q: Why? Q: Why aren't you leaving? Q: How long is that? Q: What about after that time is up? Q: I've heard rumors that you're planning. . . feel free to add any other questions if you care to or if i neglected something... most of you know how to get in touch with me... For now and for the immediate future, it's business as usual... i'm currently working on this week's reviews and feature, which is gonna be pretty neat i hope... As far as last week, i was very frustrated... very under the gun... but it all worked out... this week is busy as well, but not as much... so that's a good thing... now, if only i can behave for a while, get some things done, etc... then maybe i can finally get part 2 written of "My Enemies"... something to look forward to i suppose... currently listening to: DecembeRadio - DecembeRadio keeping an eye on...
peace... love... bdg... |
22 June, 2006
13 June, 2006
Nerd Herd Mentality
So, i'm live in Boston, i was hoping to do some sort of regular blogging update thing, but as always i'm overbusy and have little room in my head or schedule to do everything that i'd like to... let's see if i can catch up... It's Sunday (we're pretending)... i'm skipping church to catch a plane to head off to Boston... little boy tried to convince me that Boston wasn't in Massachusetts but in fact it was in church... (i'm pretty sure he got Boston confused with his Sunday School classmate, Austin)... nice try buddy, i'd stay if i could... so, we get to the airport and i make it through security without a hitch and indulge in some treats from Starbucks and Dunkin Donuts.... (oh sweet french crullers... it's been far too long)... i'm starting to wonder if there's anyone in America who travels without a laptop anymore... everyone has to flash their laptops to get through the security checkpoint and it seems to me that everyone has one... So, i'm boarding the airplane only to realize that 75% of the passengers are headed to Microsoft Tech Ed 2006 which is my destination... no surprise we're on Jet Blue which is the obvious choice for geeks because we get to watch DirecTV as we fly... anyway... this is all boring except that i watched SportsCenter while reading The Last Christian Generation and that one of my coworkers dumped a can of Coke in his lap and it was amusing (in a mean way) to watch him flailing across the aisle... So, yadda yadda yadda... we get checked in and registered and we head over to the keynote presentation... yikes! almost three hours... a handful of important Microsoft people giving speeches and demos... and oh yeah, the guest attraction was some chick from 24... i guess it was a highlight, buti'm still holding strong with having never seen an episode of the show... anyway, she was there because they spoofed the show during the keynote to drive home the point of... um... yeah... it worked well... Actually, a few interesting things that i noticed was a focus on "people" and a focus on a bigger budget... which says to me.. (i know, i'm a skeptic)... "we want you to think that we like you enough so that you'll be willing to loosen your purse strings and pay us through the teeth for our fancy new products"... Anyway... it's pretty much buzz central here at the conference so far... marketing is the obvious king here and we're all being inundated with the latest catch phrases and pleas for product loyalty... i actually laughed out loud when they announced that one of their promises was to "amplify the impact of your people" because just the other day, i posted this press release... ah... when world's collide... not sure how i feel about Indelible Creative Group anymore, that's for sure... And so the keynote was done and there were lots of promises made not too much excitement from the crowd - possibly because many of us were grumpy about having a Sunday night keynote - and we all filed out to wait in the incredible shuttle bus lines which we found by following the numerous security guards waving plastic lighted cattle prod batons... it's also worth noting that i ate at Maggiano's for the first time on Sunday too... i think that's about it for Sunday... it may also interest you to know that i'm rooming with my boss this week, because apparently we employees aren't worth the cost of our own hotel rooms... wonderful... i'll be back in a bit to talk about yesterday which was Monday... in my unofficial official MS Tech Ed 2006 blog entries... i need to figure out a way to get some reviews written this week... (i did post a new Left to Write over at CMCentral)... currently listening to: Sivion - Spring of the Songbird
peace... love... bdg... |
07 June, 2006
Nice...
Still here? me too and have i got a lot to write about... but first, i'm working on some reviews and i have to conduct an interview and get some work done and get "unfrustrated"... you can always read the Decyfer Down interview i posted at CMCentral this week... it's kind of funny and offbeat much like me... in other news, before i run off... this has been a ridiculously difficult week for me... very frustrating from just about every imaginable angle... and next week, i'll be in bean town which will keep me away from my castle of recharging each night... not looking forward to it... anyway... currently listening to: Red- End of Silence keeping an eye on...
peace... love... bdg... |
06 June, 2006
The sky isn't falling... yet...
i checked all my news sources and as far as i can tell... the world hasn't ended yet... i'll let you know though, so stay tuned... peace... love... bdg... |
02 June, 2006
Fried-Day goodness...
i should've written something today, but i just have been pretty busy and also pretty sidetracked by watching results pour in from the first ever (to my knowledge) CMCentral.com Reader Survey... take that link as an invitation to participate as well... there are prizes involved... I'm also leaving work early today which sounds kind of bad, but since i was only one of two of us who even showed up to work today... nope, not the government... anyway... i'm sure i had some things to say, but i'm really feeling a bit on the lazy side today... must have a lot to do... i killed a giant bug with a billion legs that was climbing up my office wall today... it was pretty creepy looking so i took a binder and threw it across the room at it... direct hit! I also ate a limited edition dark chocolate 100 Grand bar... that's a tough piece of candy, i'll tell you that much... it was good though... i enjoyed it thoroughly... i'm a sucker for limited edition candy bars and soda flavors... and now, i think i'll head off... maybe do a bit of reading, maybe just go play with the littles... now's as good a time as any... (actually better than a half hour from now... peace... love... bdg... ps: if you landed here because MyGlassHouse sent you, she meant the entry below this titled "My Enemies Part One. . . " currently listening to: The Turning - Learning to Lose keeping an eye on...
peace... love... bdg... |
31 May, 2006
My Enemies: Part One. . .
okay, i started this back on the 19th and 20th before running out of time and haven't had a chance to get back to it... so, what i'm going to do is post it in two parts... the first is below (after some random thoughts)... trapped? yes trapped... but that's at least five entries away... some updates on writing... The RunDown: On Film and a Jessie Daniels Walk TRu... still need to write this week's reviews (which is shameful, but i did have a good weekend not worrying about them) and gear up for a few upcoming interviews... always something going on... also in the process of redesigning the TRu for a full relaunch to hopefully... well... we'll see... My thoughts on American Idol: Marketing wins again... do you think it's a coincidence that the two finalists were the only two with clearly defined nicknames for themselves and or their fans? brilliant... SOUL PATROL WOO!... anyway... here's what i started the other day... from Friday, 19 May - Saturday 20 May: How is it that cords always manage to entangle themselves up, but corded shoelaces can never stay tied? i'm pretty spaced out today... not entirely sure why, but i'm probably tired... i'm kind of in a weird little break of activity and i'm not sure if it's reality or just that i can't focus long enough to realize what i'm supposed to be doing... it's weird when you have so much to do that you just don't feel like doing anything... well, i had a lot of things on my mind that i wanted to write about, but honestly, i just don't know anymore... maybe i try to hard... maybe i don't try hard enough... maybe i'm in over my head... maybe my toes aren't even wet yet... i wouldn't call this a crisis or anything... i simply just don't know... anyway... let me try to ignore this for a little bit and get something typed up... i think that i'm going to have to review the title i used for the last entry (It Is Well, But Why?) because even though it was something of an afterthought... (i'm still not entirely used to titling these entries)... there's something to it that just won't let go of my thoughts... today though, i'm reaching further back and i'm going to tackle an entry that's been waiting for a little while... My Enemies are Men Like Me So Derek Webb has a song out with this title and i guess that song had something to do with the thought process behind this, but really i've headed off in an entirely different direction... Derek's song is somewhat of an anti-war song reminding us that our enemies are made of flesh and blood just like we are... that Jesus came down and died for our enemies as much as he died for us... that we should love our enemies, even to the point of dying in their place... when i think through this phrase, i think of it as more of an anti "me against the world" mentality... time and time again i hear people complain about how world is prejudiced against Christianity... how the media is so liberal and bent on destroying the message of the Gospel... how we're all so persecuted... The Da Vinci Code is a perfect example... many Christians were up in arms that the book/film is a direct attack against our faith... and i don't see that... and then i'm belittled or picked on by other Christians who think i'm not "handling" this situation appropriately... that i'm not speaking out enough against the book or that i'm not taking it seriously enough... maybe they don't think i take my faith seriously enough... well, here's the thing... and regarding DVC, for the record, i see it as a big fat distraction from what we're supposed to be doing as Christians... perhaps i'll elaborate later if time allows... most of the talks surrounding this or any other "attack" on our faith come from an "us versus them" mindset... "us" Christians (i know it should be "we") are pitted up against the wiles of the devil and the persecution of the world... oh, pity us because we're always on the defense... our enemies are always at our throats... "them," the world, is out to get us and destroy us and the Christian faith... and i don't really see that being the case... well... let me be clear... we as Christians are opposed and affronted by the world, but it's not because of the Christian faith... it's more because we've gotten the Christian faith so horribly wrong... stepping out of the picture for a brief second to look at the scenery, this is what i see... we're bent on martyrdom and our mantra is "The world will hate you just as they hated Me"... see... we know that Jesus said this to His disciples and we know that He only tells the truth... therefore we are determined to be hated by the world and the way we do that most often, as far as i can tell, is to hate them first... hey, it's only natural... if i meet someone i don't think isn't going to like me, then i'm already thinking that i don't like them... it's partially a defense mechanism and that makes logical sense... Christianity however, doesn't... And as quickly as we embrace the idea of the world hating us, we gloss over the whole "love your enemies as yourself" part of Jesus' teachings... we have to... otherwise we can't hate the world first... then they hate us first and have some sort of an upper hand on us... well, before i go too much further, let's take another step back for a second and think about the life of Jesus on earth... i'm going to focus on the last part of that phrase, our martyr mantra, "the world will hate you, as the hated Me"... now... let me ask you this... who hated Jesus when He was on the earth?... who opposed Him? who embraced Him?... how did the "world" react to His presence?... Early opposition to Jesus came from King Herod, because he felt threatened by Jesus, who though still a boy, was called the "king of the Jews" by the Magi... this was a hatred based on a misunderstanding of who Jesus was and what He had come to do... Herod was more concerned with maintaining a superiority over the Jewish community than with anything Jesus had to teach... during His time of ministry and teaching, Jesus was also hated by the Herodians, who were very nationalistic and hated Him based on his charisma and his teachings of a kingdom greater than the Roman empire... Obviously Jesus was quite popular... He drew a crowd whenever He went... His teachings and His powerful miracles caused people from all walks of life to flock to Him as though He were, well, a shepherd... which brings us to the next group of folks who hated Him... . . . to be continued peace... love... bdg... |
30 May, 2006
23 May, 2006
pardon the interruptions...
there's an entry coming... but it's been interrupted by work and life and stuff... coming soon though... anyone else watch Alias last night?... so was he him all along?... awesome ending anyway...and now as i look ahead, it looks like there's nothing on television for then next 3 months... sure, there's still Lost, but i so don't watch that... good thing i netflix... off to review some CDs i should've reviewed yesterday... you can check out my downhere interview if you are so inclined... peace... love... bdg... |
17 May, 2006
It is well... but, why?
My heart sunk this morning as i got in the car to head to work... i had managed to turn the news on just in time to hear that he didn't make it... the shooting last week has resulted in the death of a second person... Master Police Officer Michael Garbarino died this morning after a week of hospitalization since being shot several times by an eighteen year old gunman ambushing the police station that sits less than 3 miles from where i sit at work all day... witnesses say that Garbarino saved many lives because he managed to reach his radio and warn other officers in the station of the threat... after he had been shot five times... i'm also told that he began praying over the radio, certain that his time had come... Garbarino leaves behind a wife and two children, becoming only the second police officer in the 66 year history of the Fairfax County Police killed by an assailant while on duty... The first was Detective Vicky Armel, who died last Monday after literally being sprayed with bullets from the shooter's automatic weapon... Armel also left behind two children as well as her husband... Her funeral was this past weekend and was attended by more than 4500 people, many of them fellow officers... all attendees heard Armel's personal testimony, one she gave at her church on Easter, describing how she came to know the Lord about two years ago and how she wanted her husband to have that same life-changing experience... everyone also received a copy of Lee Strobel's The Case for Easter, which as instrumental in Armel's conversion to Christianity... The gunman was eighteen years old and came prepared for his task... besides the automatic weapon which is described as an AK-47-style assault rifle, he also had a high-powered hunting rifle and five handguns with him as he began his ambush... he apparently managed fire over 70 rounds of ammunition in the exchange before he was killed himself by other officers... a search of his home revealed a full arsenal of other weapons... Three deaths in a matter of minutes... this isn't a movie, this really happened... i was stuck in the traffic last week amidst the confusion and concern as the police searched for accomplices and clues... and i'm stuck with questions and confusion of my own today... certainly there's the big question of why this all happened, but we all know that this isn't a perfect world, that we're all fallen individuals... and i've already seen how God has used this to His glory... but it still hurts... i've never even met either of these officers... and it still hurts... what a world we live in... and oddly enough, "It Is Well" just started playing on my iPod... perfect... peace... love... bdg... |
14 May, 2006
Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes
Leave it to good old GoogleFight to cheer me up: Da Vinci Code versus Bible Code winner: DVC See, it's not as bad as you might think... anyway, as i'm sure you've noticed, i've made a few changes to the way this blog shows up... and that goes for both Xanga and Blogger (yes, i've been cross-posting for a little while now)... i think the changes make things a little nicer looking and even easier to read... i will say that i think the Blogger site looks better, but i absolutely hate how the silly thing mangles my HTML... here's a weird fact about me... i actually write in HTML code... everything, blog entries, essays, letters, reviews, everything... i guess that makes me a little strange, but it's how i think... anyway, feel free to let me know what you think of the changes... the blog may be a minor indication of a larger scale... that is to say that change is simply in the air... what kind of changes and to what extent i'm not entirely certain, but there are clouds forming over some areas of my life and possible sunshine breaking through in other areas... it's way too early to know anything for sure, but i can simply smell changes in the works... it's exciting and uncomfortable at the same time... well, it's mothers day so i shouldn't be on here... just had some things to write up (surprise)... so, away i go... (oh, no pee stories this week, sorry)... peace... love... bdg... |
12 May, 2006
The Last Two Months (give or take)
07 May, 2006
Jellyfish stings and burning socks...
EDIT: Sometimes the grass is greener on the other side of the fence because everyone over there is full of crap... that went over well... about as well as Aaron Shust on the Logan Show... if you are unfamiliar with either of those two things... it is a dreadful musical guest on a dreadful talk show... anyway... if you ever get stung by a jellyfish... volunteer to help teach your chuch's 3 year old Sunday School class... yeah... well, Friends fans know where i'm going with this i'm sure... but we had nine children in our class today... generally this is quite manageable... however, we had two visitors this week... again, generally not too bad... of course, one of these visitors was afflicted with an incessant whine and cry... being the nice compassionate teacher that i am... i tried to console this boy, by letting him sit on my lap during the story time... still the whimpering continued... after a little bit of time one of the most horrifying thought occurred to me... and none too soon... apparently, however, it was some too late... yes... it was not long after this thought occurred when it was gone and replaced by the inner voice of my mind screaming, yes screaming... "HE'S PEEING ON MY LEG! MY GOODNESS, HE'S PEEING ON MY LEG!!!!"... yes... that was the case... my leg was being assaulted by that warm fluid that... well... i think that's enough... we dealt with the situation accordingly... got a new set of pants for the boy and moved on with the lesson... Me, i thank God for Haggar and their spectacular "spill proof" pants as well as Kiwi and their waterproofing spray for shoes... because of these two remarkable products, the damages were minimal for me... my socks, though must be burned... the other visiting boy had an accident as well, but he was kind enough to keep it to himself... Oddly enough, this horrific event was a pretty decent visual example of the lesson that we had discussed in our adult Sunday School lesson the previous church hour... see, we were working through 1 John... actually, we just started it... so 1 John 1-2:17ish... and John talks a lot about walking in the light as opposed to living in darkness... and we discussed the implications of "fronting" or pretending that we are walking rightly with God or even sinless... "If we claim that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us"... even worse... "if we claim to be without sin, we make [God] out to be a liar and his word has no place in our hearts"... you know... both of these options are not very good... or i should say... neither of these options are very good... i think that sounds better... anyway... the point is that we can pretend all that we want... that we aren't as bad as others... that we don't have any need to confess our sins... that we don't commit any "serious" sins... many different things... but the outcome is not desirable... we will have no place in God's presence... the more we deny our need for Him, the less place we leave for Him in our lives... scary thought... So... since you probably don't think like i do, you may be wondering what on earth this has to do with the "accident" incident... well, here goes... because of the two wonderful products i had utilized as part of my outfit today, nobody that i encountered today had any clue of what had happened to me during Sunday school... on the surface, i appeared to be wearing clean pants, socks and shoes... however, though i seemed to be an acceptable member of the community, the truth was that i had socks that were very much defiled and warranted being excommunicated from society... anyway, that's the way i see it... it may comfort you to know that i don't actually lead the lessons for the three-year olds... i just keep the peace usually... currently listening to: Brian Littrell - Welcome Home keeping an eye on...
peace... love... bdg... |
30 April, 2006
a century of days
So somehow i got it all done... yeah... all of it... pretty sweet, huh? I'm pretty much surprised and shocked... but also happy... now i'm relaxing so much that i think i'll be falling behind for next week... anyway... this week does look a little bit slower and since just about each of these catagories has gotten a vote... (well, except Bono, i guess he is overrated after all)... i'll probably just tackle them in that order... but first, i have an announcement to make... today marks my 1000th day as a member of xanga... and yet after all this time, i still say "no"... NO to premium... gotta hand it to them though, they are persistent... anyway, to commemorate this momentous occasion, i'm picking through some of my old entries and putting in random quotes from the past one thousand days... if you can tell me the dates on these quotes, i might do something really nice like send out one of my extra CDs or something... anyway, here goes... i think that will do... have fun with that... currently listening to: The Elms - The Chess Hotel keeping an eye on...
peace... love... bdg... |
25 April, 2006
fliberliloo
on a busy scale of 1-10 with 1 being busy and 10 being in a coma from overstimulation, this week is about a six... reviews, two interviews, article for HM, news and lots of regular work as well... and this weekend before i could get ahead and prepare myself to lighten the load... they started showing up... my close-knit network of college friends started appearing on my doorstep Friday to kick off a weekend of celebrating/mocking the one one who crossed the barrier of 30... a good time was had by all that i can guarantee... however, nary a thing got done as far as writing or work was concerned... and i might feel bad that i won't have a chance to update this blog this week... but it seems like no one is interested in anything that i might have to write about anyway... i got NO VOTES on my list people... since i'm listening to Phil Wickham today, though, i'm reminded of our need for grace and i'll give you a second chance... POP QUIZ HOT STUFF: which topic is most interesting to you... 1. My Enemies are Men Like Me
peace... love... bdg... |
20 April, 2006
felis cumpli- yadda yadda
Well, today i turned thirty... but don't worry about me changing or anything... i'm still the same guy who manages to spill food and beverages on his clothes as if it were a ritual... today, in fact, i have the grease of taco meat adorning my bright white "theTRu. Polo Shirt"... some things won't ever change... anyway, i'm claiming a little bit of "me" time today to actually update this here blog... i have so many things that i'd like to write... if my mind were a bladder, i would seriously need some Depends... but i don't think that any of them will reasonably make it to the screen today... i'd like to say that it will be soon, but i don't like to not keep my word... (how's that for a double negative?)... i must be tired... and old... yes... probably both... feel free to make fun of my age today or any day beyond today... i'm good... i've come to grips with age and it doesn't bother me... while you're down there commenting, why don't i go ahead and mention a few topics that i'm tossing around and you can weigh in on which i should make an effort to discuss first... (assuming of course that they make sense... i do love to be slightly cryptic)... 1. My Enemies are Men Like Me That's enough... i'm approaching another milestone as well, but more on that later on this month... for now... here's something... The Blockhead Theory You can learn a lot about kids if you watch them playing with blocks... i've unscientifically narrowed people down into four catagories based on their block behavior... first, there are the people who totally ignore the blocks... these people lack initiative and are afraid to take risks... destined to never accomplish anything in life... second, there are those who aimlessly play with the blocks, sometimes stacking, sometimes just banging them together... these people lack direction and have no idea what to do with their lives... again, they're not likely to accomplish anything with their lives, but moreso than group one... the third group is the builders... yeah, these folks are self-starters and they are one of the groups who shape the world we live in... there are of course varying degrees of builders in the world, but i'll get back to that in a second... the fourth group... they're generally called jerks or worse, but they're the group that doesn't build and doesn't ignore... they sit around and wait for others to build so that they can run through and knock the tower down... these people also shape the world, but they don't really accomplish anything except empty feelings of significance... anyway, back to group three... i'd like to think that i fall into this group... but as i said, there are varying degrees of builders... there are the builders that can go from start to finish quickly, hastily, recklessly, whatever... those who are more concerned with getting something accomplished, getting credit and getting out of Dodge before it all crashes down... and then there are builders who start building but never quite finish anything... all this potential and nothing to really show for it... another subgroup of group three is the group that build things up only simply for the joy of building... they don't necessarily care about getting credit or sticking around and keeping things going... they just enjoy building... these are the shapers of the world whose names you'll never know... the glue that holds society together, keeps things progressing simply because they can... and then the final group (simply because i can't think of any more)... is made up of builders who build because they want to have something to knock down... that's right... it's kind of a hybrid between groups three and four... they have the destructive tendancies but they lack the mean-spiritedness that it takes to destroy others... therefore they are self-destructive... for kicks... personally i think i'm somewhat of a hybrid of the hybrid and the glue... i'd like to lose my self-destructive tendancies, but i don't think i'm there yet... it's too much of a thrill to watch it all tumble down... as Bradley Hathaway says... i like to "burn it down and walk away"... i see this in many aspects of my life... and i'm not quite sure what the ideal is... what goals should i have as a builder of blocks?... if you're interested, just know that i have some very lofty goals that i've set in the last few days and weeks and i think many of them are not goals you would expect me to have... really though, as i look at my life... if i never accomplish another thing, i will be happy knowing that i've helped to add two of the most beautiful boys ever to this world and i can help shape them into men that will shape the world around them for good... (i say that at the risk of making them sound like comic book superheroes)... i'm not sure why i shared all of this, but i did... so now it's your job to figure out what to do with it... currently listening to: The Elms - The Chess Hotel!!! keeping an eye on...
peace... love... bdg... |
13 March, 2006
where i'm really at...
nothing personal, just have been for a long time and can't really afford the time it takes to update this one too...
someday all of this may change, but not today, i'm way too busy...
peace... love... bdg...
03 February, 2006
well i hope you're happy...
the joke's really on you though, 'cause no one reads this anyway...
because i never update it...
so THERE...
peace... love... bdg...
