i had a dream...

"we are bored of all the things we know..." interesting... This one came to me in a dream, so if it's incongruent or whatever, you know why... when i dream and remember it, i'm never quite sure why or, more importantly, if i got the whole thing... anyway, here goes... (enter dream state) i had lost someone close to me... i'm not sure who, but it the pain was so real, i knew that much was true... before i even have time for the weight of the news to settle in before the phone rings... a dear friend calling, not to console me, but to ask for prayer because he had lost someone as well... the lump in my throat grew as his words added to the weight already on my heart... but it wasn't over yet... as the day wore on i learned of numerous neighbors, church members, family, friends and mere acquaintances who were all dealing with the sudden loss of someone close to them... my own loss seemed so much less significant as i shared in the grief of others, agonizing in harmony as we dealt with the loss together... oddly enough, we found ourselves gathered at a service of sorts and, out of my character, i volunteered to speak in front of everyone... we couldn't figure out why all these "tragedies" had occurred at once... what was the reasoning behind it?... how could God do this to us all... why?... it didn't make sense to any of us... i chose to read from the book of Lamentations... even though many in attendance weren't Christians and some were decisively against the idea of reading from Scripture, it seemed that the words reached beyond all these barriers and, in the midst of our common fate, everyone seemed to hang on each word... this book that many people ignore suddenly had a wealth of significance and, with a captive audience, it was amazing to hear the Word of God speak and to watch the effects thereof as each syllable was absorbed... it was sometime during this presentation, as i looked out on the crowd, when it dawned on me... this eclectic group of individuals from all walks of life, whom i knew from different avenues of my life, had all intersected here at this moment to listen to God speak... and the only explanation for this was tragedy... tragedy had created a forced community based on a common emotion and struggle... and through this community, God was at work... God was redeeming this tragedy before my very eyes... if you noticed, in the last thought, the "tragedy" became a single event... that's because it was about this time that it was i who had died... (which explains my willingness to speak in front of everyone)... though, i'm sure it's somewhat egotistic to imagine such a turnout and reach, the point was driven home and i quickly awakened with a cold chill... (end dream state) now, i'm not sure about this dream... where exactly it came from or all that it was meant to be, but i suspect that it has to do with the fact that i just recently read through Lamentations, a book that has held a special place in my heart the last few years after it had been explained to me in a new way... i'm also reading through David Crowder's book about death and loss... and maybe there's more going on here than i know... i had this dream before i went up to visit my parents and during the trip, my mom asked me why life is so hard... i don't really agree that life is all that hard, but it's a question that i've heard and been asked before... this time, though, in light of this dream, i was quick to respond that life is difficult, because trials force us into a state of community which is what we were made for... this is how we're wired... anyway, just felt like sharing that, and i've learned to go with it when i have a feeling like that... Quick tidbits... HM article came off without any reall hitches, got some new reviews in the works, got a RunDown coming today or tomorrow covering some intrumental albums, got a whole lot of stuff going down over at theTRu... the redesign is looking pretty slick and coming together nicely... on schedule to launch at the end of the week... and hopefully, it will be the beginning of my exodus... more on that another time... so, i'm busy busy busy, but i'll try to get another entry up sometime this week, perhaps one that doesn't include me dying, but no promises... lots to write this week... and lots to do... ps. anyone seen that crazy Janke guy lately? he's fallen off the wagon... currently listening to: Salvador - Dismiss the Mystery Anadara - Into the Unknown Hundred Year Storm - Hello from the Children of Planet Earth Last Tuesday - Become What You Believe The Cross Movement - Chronicles: Greatest Hits Vol. 1 Lecrae - After the Music Stops keeping an eye on... peace... love... bdg...

Fresh out the Fryin Pan into the Fire

So i'm back... i've been back actually... just that, well, it's as if i'm a paratrooper and i've dropped into a hot zone and it's been just plain nuts since i've been back... not that it wasn't nuts before... and no, i didn't have a refreshing, relaxing, good, fun, worthwhile, (insert a positive adjective here) vacation... most of my conversations since i've been back have gone like this: someone: So, you have a good vacation? me: nope someone: Oh, really? Why not? me: we went to see my parents. someone: . . . (unsure if i'm serious or not) me: yep. not many people have even tried to respond to that... but when they do, i'm more than willing to explain how much stress is involved with visiting my folks... i didn't bring much luggage, but there was plenty of baggage to be unpacked... Anyway, here's the start of the entry i was working on last... of course it's unfinished... but you might as well see it... - - begin transmission - - yeah, so i forgot to mention that a few weekends ago, i took the plunge and ugraded a few electronics... since it was tax-free weekend and Best Buy, lb.k.a. "daddy's toy store," decided to participate, i went ahead and plunk down months of my personal savings (i have a personal allowance or slush fund that i can spend on whatever i want)... i walked away with one of them new-fangled black 60 gig video iPods... yeah it's sweet, that's for sure... and the battery is great when i'm listening to music only... videos seem to drain it much quicker, but hey, it's playing videos... VIDEOS... so this new black beaute (beebee - yes, i do name electronics and many other inanimate objects) is kind of replacing my almost-four-year-old 10 gig standard iPod... the catch is that they jacked with the jacks and now i'll need to get a new microphone before i can do interviews on it... (oh, you're so slick Apple - didn't i just give you enough money?)... things i like about beebee include the obvious increase in storage space, the slick look, the smooth velvety case that came with it, VIDEOS and the click wheel that doesn't register unwanted clicks as easily as its predecessor... things i don't like about beebee include the microphone hijacking, i'm afraid to touch it sometime for fear of leaving fingerprints, and the only charger it came with, charges through the laptop... but the iPod wasn't the only upgrade... no, no... i had to replace the amazing burnt-out VCR that nearly blew up my house a while ago... of course, they don't sell VCRs much these days... thanks to Steve Carell, "It's a dead technology"... Sorry Andy, er Steve, but i have these boxes of videos that i'm not about to just throw away... so how do you replace a dead technology?... well, a smart person might go around to Target and Wal*Mart until they found a regular VCR for cheap... i thought about that... or one might even consider upgrading to one of those fancy combination decks with a VCR and a DVD player... those are still around, and quite honestly, that's what i was hoping to do... but when i walked into Best Buy... oh dear... when you enter the lair... i walked out with a combo alright, but it's a DVD recorder with a VCR... a bit more money and well, i've enjoyed it thus far... anyway... - - end transmission - - yeah... so that's the deal-e-o... right now, i need to head off and catch up on my real work, transcribe an interview, turn said transcription into an article for HM (due tomorrow), get lots of other things written, and oh yeah, i've been kicking the tires of the TRu and it's gonna be completely relaunched on 1 September (hopefully)... sure that's a lot but there's always reviews and other fun stuff as well... lots to do... and it's date night! let's see what i come up with... currently listening to: Soul P - The Premiere Skillet - Comatose Hundred Year Storm - Hello from the Children of Planet Earth Last Tuesday - Become What You Believe The Cross Movement - Chronicles: Greatest Hits Vol. 1 Lecrae - After the Music Stops keeping an eye on... peace... love... bdg...

in an mmmBop it's gone...

Hey, it's August. we've already survived a brutal heat wave last week and today, though the temperature is cooled off a bit, my head is throbbing in rhythm with the thoughts and responses to the pink and black checks that have infiltrated my head... yes... well i had nothing to do with it... but yes, well, i'm hearing a lot of feedback and it seems to be the only thing people want to talk about... maybe i'll explain more later when it's more in the rearview mirror and less in a bottle of Excederin... (wow, that sounded like a country song)... In other fun news, i've apparently become something of a standard for bad writing... that blog i previously mentioned that "called me out" as a critic who is more of an "inspirational calendar writer" who "has not yet learned English adjectives" and "writes as good as a six-year-old"... (i'm curious if they know that it should be "well" and not "good")... anyway, they're looking for contributors and to weed out the bad applicants, they'll be compared to my style of writing... apparently i've crossed somebody's path the wrong way... either that or i'm officially famous... anyway, let's just say i have a plan... moving on... I feel like i've been in a bit of a slump as of late, and it may have to do with the albums i've had to review... just a barrage of mediocrity the last couple weeks... but i can't totally blame it on that... i just feel spent... as i mentioned in the last post (way back then), i feel like i need to be stepping up somehow and doing something... i'm hitting a wall so to speak in all my pursuits... realizing more and more that i don't fit in with the techies at my day job and realizing that i don't see eye-to-eye with my other boss on any level (artistically, creatively, ethically, morally, from a business standpoint, nothing) and it's frustrating and frustrating leads to being worn out and spent i suppose... "but I have promises to keep and miles to go before I sleep and miles to go before I sleep" (Robert Frost)... (insert deep sigh here)... is it a lack of faith? is it just confusion? am i simply tired... am i simply overthinking? can anyone else not wait for a new Relient K album or is it just me? i must keep pressing on... i must keep moving... i must slow down... i'm flooded by thoughts that don't seem to mean anything... and they're so random... and they don't make sense... or maybe they're all related and maybe i don't make sense... maybe i just need to shut up... maybe... still... be.. still... Anyway... on a lighter note... i'm down to 80-some pages left in Monster, i'm 50-some pages into Everybody Wants to Go to Heaven, But Nobody Wants to Die, i'm 60-some pages through Ragamuffin Gospel and i've looped back around during the 40-Weeks initiative and i'm reading Isaiah again this week... just something about that book that does my heart right... I've been watching the AOL Sessions archives this morning instead of working on reviews... i watched Mat Kearney, Keane and i'm currently bugging out to Beastie Boys... (they look old)... the next couple months looks phenomenal for new music... i know i'm supposed to be in love with the new Jars and Leigh Nash albums - and i do like them quite a bit - but for me, i simply cannot get the new Skillet album out of my head... it's very nice and i hope it does well for them... other confirmed great, late-year additions to the 2006 music scene include Leeland, Bebo Norman, Brandon Heath, Sandra McCracken, Jonny Lang, Hundred Year Storm, Kim Hill, Chris Tomlin, and Woven Hand... all this and expected releases from Switchfoot, Relient K, Jonezetta, MeWithoutYou, Fernando Ortega, Smokie Norful, and a whole lot more... good grief, how am i going to remember what came out already? Anyway... off i go... here's a few bits of writing i've done that you can check out if you feel so inclined: iTRu-nes playlist (vol. 1) Audio Adrenaline - Adios (Walk TRu) The RunDown: on Audio A coming soon: a new Left to Write, the State of the TRunion Report, a few interviews, and Walk TRus for Out of Eden, Skillet, Jars, Leigh Nash, Leeland, etc... etc... currently listening to: Jonas Brothers - It's About Time Out of Eden - The Hits Leigh Nash - Blue on Blue Leeland - Sound of Melodies keeping an eye on... peace... love... bdg...