grace in the midst of trials...

DAAAAAAAAAAAAANG!... i was about to post about how i'm in a rut and not feeling motivated to do much and how i got some pretty discouraging news about theTRu and how i'm stuck in a moment that i can't quite get out of and how i have to re-evaluate things yet again and how my budget is all screwed up and how things just seem so crazy and hectic and out of control and how it's tough to see my feet landing in front of me with each step and how i'm just frustrated and confused and felling like i'm getting ready to burn out and smack dab in the middle of all this... dropped into the middle of my office and soon to be dropped into my lap... is a brand spankin new laptop courtesy of my day job... that's pretty dang sweet... it's a monster too... gonna have some fun building that bad boy out, i'll tell you that much... but first... to accomplish today's goals... back later... PS. Check out the edited version of my Pigeon John Interview.... yes, edited... (the powers that be and all that jazz)... a completely unedited version will appear on theTRu sometime next week... currently listening to: Phil Joel - the deliberatePeople album Wovenhand - Mosaic Pigeon John - Summertime Pool Party Sandra McCracken - Gravity Love Bebo Norman - Between the Dreaming and the Coming True Brandon Heath - Don't Get Comfortable Krystal Meyers - Dying For a Heart Nevertheless - Live Like We are Alive Jonny Lang - Turn Around keeping an eye on... peace... love... bdg...

five years ago today...

FIVE YEARS AGO TODAY 11 September 2001 honestly i have no idea what to say and yet as i writer i have so much to say. this all seems so unreal and yet at the same time is is so hauntingly, chillingly real. Knowing that i have nothing to truly fear, i still fear. i cannot believe this, yet i know it to be true. i feel the evil, the thick black hand gripping this event. i have felt this level of evil before and recognize the tone. my mind screams nothing good will come of this and at the same time i know that God will work ALL things for the good of His will. it's at times like these i realize how little i know of important things. How little i've done. all my accomplishments, all my possessions, all my goals are merely temporal. i realize how little i have actually read of the Bible and how much i skimmed or skipped over. i can't help but realize that i have blown it in so many aspects of my life. i am overcome by helplessness when i should be bolstered by the strength i know exists for my benefit. i know God cares for me and loves me and will keep me as His own. and i can't help but feel as though i have let Him down. I have spent so much time exploring for new talents that i have neglected the ones i knew of. i have stretched my resources to a point where i have become a mediocre vessel. my only prayer is for God's direction and guidance as i devote all i have left solely to Him. i am so worn down that i know i need rest and at the same time i have so much to make up for . . . 12 September 2001 a cup is placed before me evil boils within it i know that i must drink it Your will and not my own. father this anxiety is crushing me i am not strong enough i pray you stay with me i cannot make it alone. this cup before me i cannot drink fear shakes my inner being i tremble at the very thought of it i feel my body and soul bleed. father take this cup from me i am unworthy of this divine task i recognize your sovereign will i realize the need. i grasp this cup before me these fingers that have sinned much are strengthened by your might i feel your power. father take this cup from me i beg you let it pass father i pray your will be done strengthen me this hour. - taken from my pre-blog blog: spiritvsFLESH.com peace... love... bdg...

shameless self promo

This is shameless, i know... but in lieu of an actual post... can i please share my enthusiasm about the successful relaunch of theTRu? THE NEW TRu - TRudATmusic.com yes, i'm excited and i'm devoting more time to making it work... i'm not dead... that is all... for now... currently listening to: Michelle Bonilla - Phenomenal Jars of Clay - Good Monsters Surreal & DJ Balance - Future Classic Anadara - Into the Unknown Gnarls Barkley - St. Elsewhere keeping an eye on... peace... love... bdg...